As with the immediately proceeding review, we will be brief and kind. We always debate even penning reviews for the lower lying of the fruit. But, in the end, we did create this blog to review PB.com material, so all is fair-game. Zombie Critters (ZC) by Jesse O'Brien is audio, but it is not a book. We rather envision ZC as the transcript of an event. Picture, if you will, a dad holding a large glass of over-sweetened ice tea telling a bedtime story to a group of ten year old boy stacked irregularly on the living room floor in sleeping bags for a Saturday night slumber-party. Though it adds nothing relevant to this review, it is probably mid summer, the dad is in his early forties with a burgeoning paunch, more bald than he'd care to acknowledge, and his wife is upstairs hazed on Xanax staring out the sewing room window into blackness wondering whatever happened to Fred Silverman, the other boy in high school who also asked her to the prom - the one she said, "No, thanks, I already have a date. He's downstairs at this very moment telling our ten year old's friends a whacky bedtime story. But, see you in English class Monday, okay?"
But we digress. Mr. O'Brien seem perfectly affable and most enthusiastic, but the yarn is not literature. In the ten minutes we gave ZC, we were pelted with well-intentioned factual and conceptual errors in a story-line which was based on no understanding of reality. The doctors doing research on revivification pooled their effort. Not in academics, buddy. Steal what you can but never cooperate. Also, they spoke glowingly about their work being worthy of a Nobel Peace Prize. Ah, in medicine, they dream of the Nobel Prize in... Medicine. Mother Theresa and the 14th Dalai Lama received the Peace Prize for their effort to promote world... peace. And the serum the doctor's created was administered to the dead critters by inhalation, as it was easier than delivery by injection. Ah, how can you administer a nebulized treatment to a dead critter? They are not... breathing, right - they're dead. One could postulate the medication was actually absorded through the skin in this bedtime story, but that wouldn't work either, because dead critters have not circulating blood to transport the vaccine anywhere.
You, by now, take out point. ZC might indeed be viewed as an mp3 to play at your son's sleep-over if you are too lazy or inebriated to do so yourself, but Mr. O'Brien warns of graphic content, so, well, that wouldn't fit-the-bill either. Probably best to just pass on ZC.
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
The Shadow of Black Wings - A Black Shadow, Indeed
As you know well, dear reader, we are not here to bash, malign, or otherwise deflower the aspirations of budding-young (or unbudding old) authors. We were put on this Earth for one purpose and one task alone. We are here to inform and elucidate! Hence, we will here be charitable and brief (adjectives somewhat foreign to our nature). The Shadow of Black Wings (SOBW) is a WSRH for three major reasons. We should point out that we only made it to midway through the second episode, but, honestly, we could not hang any longer to see if the tale improved. The three strikes which outed this podcast were rather typical ones. First and foremost, SOBW promised very much to be another - yawn - coming of age story with teens on dragons. Replay and of Anne McCaffrey's endless Dragon Rider books - yawn yawn - or DreamWork's How to Train Your Dragon - applause due here - and you have, in watered-down form, SOBW. Second, the sound quality is marginally acceptable and definitely presents a listening challenge. Third, the music is ill-fitted to the story. This pablum tale of teen angst is scored with thunderous and dramatic orchestration. As we mentioned earlier, we'll be kind, so.... 'nuh said.
Friday, March 29, 2013
Tincture - Laced With Goodness!
Okay, my minions, we are proud to do a review. What pleases us most, and the reason we must make such a show of it, is that there have been so few PB.com entrants of sufficient worth to warrant a mention. But now we may share our profundity regards a winner! Tincture, An Apocalyptic Proposition (TAAP) by Matthew M. Jordan, like so many successful salmon before it, beat it's little fins hard enough to reach The Promised Land - a review by us! This is fantasy, not exactly post-apocalyptic, a genre we tired of many a moon past, and is really dark fiction, maybe weird fiction. Whatever label is appied, TAAP is a commendable effort.
Here's his tag:
Rhamuel and the last of his family, Abranyah, travel their barren world, shack to shack, selling tinctures to keep a full belly and evading the dogmatists to keep their throats safe. Time has turned funny after The Whatever, an apocalyptic event that few remember and even fewer can explain, danger now as commonplace as the unrecognizable relics of war, and the madman Aphulan—along with an iron rule over his small township—may hold the answers. With a cure for The Sick and a passion to uncover what happened to their world, Rhamuel and Abranyah set off on a journey to the “other place,” the days before The Whatever, and ready themselves for a glimpse into what happened, and what was always meant to happen next.
NARRATION: Very nice indeed. We are unfamiliar with the voice, and no specific attribution was made as to whom it was. We presume it was Mr. Jordan (hint hint, Mr. J - add attributions!). As a solo read, there was sufficient articulation of voices between characters to distinguish amongs them. Also, the anonymous narrator (oh how we admire anonymity) gave a spark, an energy to each main character which fit the personalities well. There was a confidence in the narration which is surprising to find in a novice. Very laudable. We Would give 19 points for this category, about as high as a solo read may garner.
EDITING/TECHNICAL: There was one missed over-dub in a later episode, but just the one. There were a few too-long-a-pauses, but, again, not enough to detract from the overall pace of the story. Music outros could be a bit long. Not that the music wasn't pleasing and well matched, it occasionally just ran a bit amok. Sparse sound effects were bland and probably should have been deleted, but they were not bad, just... melba toast. We dole-out 15 points in this grouping.
ORIGINALITY OF STORY: Back very much on track here, this is a unique tale. We are unfamiliar with a similar yarn. As original could be a bad thing, we must definitely state the originality was refreshing. Several story-twists and elements caught us, scared veterans as we are, completely by surprise. This speaks well for the imagination of the author. A wild and vivid imagination is such a gift, both from the Muse to the author and the author to us readers. Thank you, kind sir! An unreserved 20 points here.
QUALITY OF WRITING: Ah, Mr. Jordan, if you're reading this, you may wish, at this juncture, to take a prescription tranquilizer, if available. Wait twenty to thirty minutes, then read on. The rest of you may proceed directly ahead - sedatives optional. TAAP is more a story told more than a novel written. This is not a bad thing, but it is not a good thing in and of itself. Our ancestors sat around many a campfire at night listening to a bard tale tale like Beowulf and the like. Good stuff! Writing serious fiction is another art form and it is the one we pine-over. That said, this is an expansive story with palpable characters who develop intriguing personalities. Well done, good sir! But technical flaws do hamper the effort. There is an on going convolution to the story, scene out of time, if you will. Think, for illustrative example, of Slaughter House Five. Done well, this devise is wondrous. In TAAP, we think the tool may have been over-employed, leading to a bit of jarring and miscomprehension. The vagueries surrounding the beginning were almost enough to earn TAAP a WSRH. But - for you dear reader - we persevered and found ourselves caught-up willingly in TAAP.
Another Serious flaw was the dreaded Anticlimax. The story came to a truly endless series of saw-toothed ending points, only to launch-forth into another riveting, poignant interlude. We flash on the image of a fish dying slowly on the floor of a boat. Will it ever stop flopping? A final critique. Mr. Jordan, please vary the word skull for the abused word brain-pan and pepper-in time as it is significantly less liberally. That is all we'll say. Zip. We ladle-forth 10 points here.
WOW FACTOR: There is clearly some in TAAP. The prowess of the solo-narration is impressive. The unbridled imagination of the setting the story is told in is most commendable. We will always reward an author who spawns a new world and them leads us though it with loving care. Just say no to zombies and vampires shall always be our motto, or battle cry. TAAP stays light-years away from the cliche. Finally, the music, which was a bit long at times, was spell-binding, well-matched, and a pleasure to hear. You should be proud of yourself, Mr. Jordan! 14 wow-points.
EXTRA CREDIT: They say in baseball, that if you watch long enough you'll see something you never have before. And so it is here, a first in the annals of our saged reviews, a negative extra credit. TAAP is the first to earn a subtraction. We strike 3 points off the podcasts total for the blatant and unapologetic plagiarism of Fire Fly/Serenity. We are huge fans of this body of scifi goodness. But the dialogue in TAAR is clearly a photocopy of the jerky-western drawl of Malcolm Reynold and the rest of the Brown Coats. It was a brilliant tool for Fire Fly, but when so overtly recycled, it shows a clear lack of originality. As our close and personal friend Doctor Who has said, "Originality is cool!"
TOTAL: 75. Well done, TAAP!
Their website is: http://tincturestory.com/
Sunday, March 10, 2013
The Guild of The Cowry Catchers - A Catch And Release
With this review, of Abigail Hilton's The Guild of The Cowry Catchers 1-4 (TGOTCC), we will be uncharacteristic. This is a major podcast of PB.com, so TGOTCC cannot be ignored. So, a review we feel obliged to publish. We were torn as to whether to post upon this work, but decided one must not pick-and-choose for reasons of conflict - and we are conflicted. There weight two very heavy counter-balances which prompt us to be reserved. Ms. Hilton pours her very life and soul into this epic podcast, a well as a tremendous amount of her time. Her production is nothing short of brilliant. The world Ms. Hilton creates is fresh and her writing skills are top-notch. She gives us all outstanding cast, editing, and sound effects. Few podcasts are technically superior. These factors combined constitute one monument force on the scale we judge TGOTCC with. The other massive counter-weight is that, in spite of these attributes, is that TGOTCC earned a WSRH.
How is it possible for such a superb podcast to be shot-down with an ignoble WSRH? As we stress time and again, it's all about the story. A permutation of this credo is that it's all about what the author wishes to tell us, wishes to say to us. Ms. Hilton chooses to, for reasons she is very much entitled to express, hammer the listener over the head with repeated gay-sex scenes. One was one too many, but maybe it was needed, but several? Hardly likely. In all seriousness, we will announce our steadfast support of the quote often mis-attributed to Voltaire, "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." After volumes of brilliant story-telling, Ms. Hilton feels it incumbent upon herself to push into the listener's ears, in brilliant stereo, graphic sex scenes between two male characters. So be it. This literary device is clearly extremely important to Ms. Hilton and she is free to express it. We applaud her honesty with us in exposing to us her passionate desire to do so. Why on earth she feels such a need is well beyond the scope of our speculation, but - as the common-herd is so fond of saying - it is what it is.
We, Anonymous, are, well - duh - anonymous. We are a reviewer of art. That said, we feel that graphic sex is a wonderful thing if conducted between two (or, to be inclusive, one or three or twenty-five) consenting adults in private. Sex should always be so confined. We do not care if it is sex between males, females, or any desired combination of the two. We do not care if one is referring to graphic sex between fictional character which are human, or alien, or six-dimensional. Are we a prude? We think not, but the reader may differently. We simply feel that graphic sex in books, photos, and film, is a cheap-shot, an facile ploy for an author. We wish there was one hell of a lot more 'fades to black' in art. We get it, the man sitting on the bed tightening his tie and the woman presumably naked under the covers just did 'it', they gained carnal knowledge of each other, they hid the salami, they played slap-and-tickle - whatever! Why do we need to have the act depicted to use in cheek-blushing detail? For vicarious sexual arousal? One word: GROSS! Once safely past adolescence, vicarious sexual gratification is reserved for those who never matured out of adolescence. Wash, rinse, repeat. Detailed sexual encounters are gratuitous and those who derive gratification from them are not persons we would care to spend much time in the company of. Grow up people!
Well, we must restate that expounding graphic sex is for the vicarious as well as for those who have an agenda. We are oblivious as to which motivated Ms. Hilton. Her reasoning is her own and we support her right to soap-box them to the world. We, however, care not to expose ourselves to such low-brow entertainment. As a reviewer of PB.com material, we feel honor-bound to pass along our honest review. We hope it helps prospective listeners chose wisely. As always, it is never our intention to insult or impugn the artist. Critique is, in the end, personal opinion. Here it is offered with deference and with a heart-felt desire to inform.
So, should you, PB.com listener, select TGOTCC? It is a great story told brilliantly. If you can overlook the above mentioned flaws, go for it! You will be richly rewarded. If you actually want to hear graphic sex, well stop reading this review and download this bad-boy. But, for the faint-of-heart, it poses some potentially significant challenges.
How is it possible for such a superb podcast to be shot-down with an ignoble WSRH? As we stress time and again, it's all about the story. A permutation of this credo is that it's all about what the author wishes to tell us, wishes to say to us. Ms. Hilton chooses to, for reasons she is very much entitled to express, hammer the listener over the head with repeated gay-sex scenes. One was one too many, but maybe it was needed, but several? Hardly likely. In all seriousness, we will announce our steadfast support of the quote often mis-attributed to Voltaire, "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." After volumes of brilliant story-telling, Ms. Hilton feels it incumbent upon herself to push into the listener's ears, in brilliant stereo, graphic sex scenes between two male characters. So be it. This literary device is clearly extremely important to Ms. Hilton and she is free to express it. We applaud her honesty with us in exposing to us her passionate desire to do so. Why on earth she feels such a need is well beyond the scope of our speculation, but - as the common-herd is so fond of saying - it is what it is.
We, Anonymous, are, well - duh - anonymous. We are a reviewer of art. That said, we feel that graphic sex is a wonderful thing if conducted between two (or, to be inclusive, one or three or twenty-five) consenting adults in private. Sex should always be so confined. We do not care if it is sex between males, females, or any desired combination of the two. We do not care if one is referring to graphic sex between fictional character which are human, or alien, or six-dimensional. Are we a prude? We think not, but the reader may differently. We simply feel that graphic sex in books, photos, and film, is a cheap-shot, an facile ploy for an author. We wish there was one hell of a lot more 'fades to black' in art. We get it, the man sitting on the bed tightening his tie and the woman presumably naked under the covers just did 'it', they gained carnal knowledge of each other, they hid the salami, they played slap-and-tickle - whatever! Why do we need to have the act depicted to use in cheek-blushing detail? For vicarious sexual arousal? One word: GROSS! Once safely past adolescence, vicarious sexual gratification is reserved for those who never matured out of adolescence. Wash, rinse, repeat. Detailed sexual encounters are gratuitous and those who derive gratification from them are not persons we would care to spend much time in the company of. Grow up people!
Well, we must restate that expounding graphic sex is for the vicarious as well as for those who have an agenda. We are oblivious as to which motivated Ms. Hilton. Her reasoning is her own and we support her right to soap-box them to the world. We, however, care not to expose ourselves to such low-brow entertainment. As a reviewer of PB.com material, we feel honor-bound to pass along our honest review. We hope it helps prospective listeners chose wisely. As always, it is never our intention to insult or impugn the artist. Critique is, in the end, personal opinion. Here it is offered with deference and with a heart-felt desire to inform.
So, should you, PB.com listener, select TGOTCC? It is a great story told brilliantly. If you can overlook the above mentioned flaws, go for it! You will be richly rewarded. If you actually want to hear graphic sex, well stop reading this review and download this bad-boy. But, for the faint-of-heart, it poses some potentially significant challenges.
The Deleted Ones -Please Do Delete
We must first quote The Sage, George Takei. "Oh myyyyy!"
The Deleted Ones (TDO), by Martin Kolacek was, unfortunately, yet anther in the terribly long-line of WSRH's we suffered through, however briefly, for you. You are welcome. The podcast may - oh we are such a play-on-words slut - be deleted. We were shocked at first to hear even the narration. Martin clearly possesses a middling command of the English language, so his attempt to write a book in the same language as The Bard struck us as odd. Don't get us wrong, Martin is free to do as he chooses - he is hurting no one. Still, it is odd to create a tale in a language one is not fluent in. The narration as such was slowly paced and labored, reflecting his unfamiliarity. This in no way helped the podcast along. But, in the end, it's always about the story. Again, oh myyyy! This was odd, at least the half episode we could stomach. Amnesia - always a weak writing device - coupled with gay-sex robots and some dysfunctional social set-up. WSRH. Oh myyyy, myyyy! Do yourself a favor, heed our warning, and pass on TDO.
The Deleted Ones (TDO), by Martin Kolacek was, unfortunately, yet anther in the terribly long-line of WSRH's we suffered through, however briefly, for you. You are welcome. The podcast may - oh we are such a play-on-words slut - be deleted. We were shocked at first to hear even the narration. Martin clearly possesses a middling command of the English language, so his attempt to write a book in the same language as The Bard struck us as odd. Don't get us wrong, Martin is free to do as he chooses - he is hurting no one. Still, it is odd to create a tale in a language one is not fluent in. The narration as such was slowly paced and labored, reflecting his unfamiliarity. This in no way helped the podcast along. But, in the end, it's always about the story. Again, oh myyyy! This was odd, at least the half episode we could stomach. Amnesia - always a weak writing device - coupled with gay-sex robots and some dysfunctional social set-up. WSRH. Oh myyyy, myyyy! Do yourself a favor, heed our warning, and pass on TDO.
A Breif Word
And yes, before you think it, we are capable of brevity. We have posted no recent reviews. This is due to a superposition of forces. First, Podiobooks.com was hacked, so they changed their entire set-up. They were once difficult to search, now they are virtually impossible to search. Hence, when we go to PB.com, we find it hard to find anything. Second, the browsing of titles we have do reveal to us - oh for once we'll be kind - sparse offerings. The recent WSRH essay was the best we gleaned from PB.com, and it was... well, read the post. The podcast was rather the opposite of good. But, we will, from time-to-time, check back in and see if anything interesting turns up.
If we do not serve you - we are not serving you!
If we do not serve you - we are not serving you!
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Shaman, Healer, Heretic - Bedazzled Us Good
Here's her tag:
An Olivia Lawson, Techno-Shaman Novel
Even for a techno-shaman, a kachina in the bedroom isn’t exactly part of the drill. When Olivia Lawson wakes to find one towering over her, she panics. A Hopi god visiting the real world isn’t just wrong–it’s impossible.
Or is it?
Soon Olivia learns that the kachina is the least of her worries. As she struggles to save her clients, clashes with other shamans, and fends off the attacks of real-world vigilantes, Olivia finds herself in the destructive path of a malevolent ancient force intent on leaving the spiritual realm to conquer this one.
Left with few options, Olivia is forced to defy centuries of shaman prohibitions. As she and her allies risk everything in their bid for survival, Olivia ultimately learns that the rules are there for a reason and that breaking them has a terrible cost.
NARRATION: Wonderful! There, we're done and may move on. Details, you prod us? Oh yes, we are a critic, not a fan blog. So, we have to applaud both MTG's gumption and prowess. As a first time podcaster it is easy to be intimidated, hence compounding one's inexperience, to produce a podcast which is, at least at the start, shaky. Trust us, we know this from personal history. But, wow, MTG hits the ground running like a journeyman (Ah, journeywoman for you New Ager's out there - all right?). Confident, clear, flawless narration. Just what the critic ordered. Well above and beyond expectations in this category. We award her a full 20 points here.
EDITING/TECHNICALS: This, again can be a tough area for the neophyte. Unless the podcaster is fortunate enough to bring to the table prior skills, we the listening public are all too often subjected to a grating learning curve. Ms. Green does this aspect well indeed. No editing glitches (we hate easily excised faux pas - we really do), finger-nail-on-chalkboard transitions, or inaudible overdubs. Clean and simple. Moreover, the simple style compliments the text. A simple, straight-forward production behooves the tale. In a world were the competition spend big money and achieves cinematic-levels, we approve of MTG's choices in SHH. We award 17 point. We must leave a few points off in deference to those do tackle the highly complex productions and do it well.
ORIGINALITY OF STORY: Two words come to our lips: fresh and delightful. In a literary world sullied by vampire-osis and zombie-mania, sword-play, and facile magic, SHH is truly unique. Unique is nice - we like unique. It is tinglingly fun to follow an author when they choose to pursue the path-less-traveled and see how and where they will go. Uncharted waters are treacherous for good reason. We were abundantly pleased with MTG's progression. To tell a cohesive story, MTG suspended but one disbelief, that shaman are rather commonplace and use electronic gadgets to visit the Multiverse. Past that assumption, the action is logical, and the course of our journey is deliciously unanticipatable. Strong work indeed we say, MTG! A full 20 points for this grouping.
QUALITY OF WRITING: Text or podcast, this is where the rubber-meets-the-road. SHH is, we can endorse up-front, very well written. Early San Francisco art critic Gelett Burgess once said, "I don't know anything about art, but I know what I like." Well said, fine sir! So it is with writing. MTG conducts her prose in a straight-forward, unpretentious, and fluid manner. She weaves a complex tale of seemingly disparate threads with a smooth and pleasing hand. There were a few points where a more polished effort might have been called for, but these odd-transitions and hum-moments were blessedly rare. We sight, by way of examples, how a suspicious Livvy never wondered why the paramedic just seemed to be there so conveniently, or what was happening to beasts released by the ne'er-do-well shaman after their cameo, or the lack of details as to how Livvy found her lost friend, during the climax. But these were minimal wrinkles, far over-shadowed by the richly told tale. A strong 17 point here.
WOW FACTOR: Wow factor's abound in SHH. The precious Easter eggs of happiness push this work well onto the next level. Most impressive was the research and expertise Ms. Green displayed. Her knowledge of ancient lore and practice was stunning. We mean, who knew from zygurrat - right? The panoply of gods and spirit-helpers, legends and belief systems is spell-binding - which is, in the end, appropriate for a novel about shaman, n'est-ce pas? A wowfully full 20 points here, if you please!
EXTRA CREDIT: For being so skillful as a newbie, so knowledgeable, and - dare we say it - so darn cute, we allow 3 extra credit points to MTG.
TOTAL: A resounding 97! Get out there and treat yourself to this little gem, you'll be glad you did.
M. Terry Green's webpage: http://mterrygreen.com/
EXTRA CREDIT: For being so skillful as a newbie, so knowledgeable, and - dare we say it - so darn cute, we allow 3 extra credit points to MTG.
TOTAL: A resounding 97! Get out there and treat yourself to this little gem, you'll be glad you did.
M. Terry Green's webpage: http://mterrygreen.com/
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