Oh bother, bother, bother! We listened with such anticipation to This Paper World (TPW) by Jeff Lane. We, as you know, love a good story and have been so, unsupported of late. Did we mention oh bother? We listened to one episode of TPW before unconditionally and most deservedly lowering a WSRH. As we append often, we are not here to dash the hopes of aspiring authors, but we will speak freely. Oh bother.
TPW (we never did find the paper, by the by) is a very very stock tale. I have super powers and am good and I fight - literally - the powers of evil. I have guns - really big guns, and those evil-fellows are ever-so-evil. They have super powers too. So, since good super powers always defeat evil super powers (this is what, a rule or a guide-line?) I win and they lose. Okay, if you cannot be original, maybe you will be impactful, innovative, unconventional, TPW. Not so much. Just off-the-shelf here. The real turn-off was the torture-the-little-girl convention. Yes, well, what good story does not necessitate the cruel torture of innocent young girls? Torture little boys? What a silly thought. It is little girls who get inhumanely tortured, right? What, torture yucky snakes and spiders? Boy, are you out of touch!
Did we mention that we guessed that Jeff Lane was a male? So, novels where little girls are tortured written by men = way too many. Novel where little girls are tortured written by females = none we know of. Let us re-cap: Men like to fantasize about torturing little girls too often, and women dream of tortured girls never. Could there be a subliminal message males are missing in these statistics?
The real incongruity is that the torturing of said little girls is completely extranious to the story as it needs to be told. The evil dudes need to extract mojo from those who have it. Okay, lame plot, but okay. But why not A) simple murder the mojo-owner; B) Draw by magic the mojo from the victim; C) ask to borrow the mojo if they pay it back with mojo-interest in 90 days? There are so many ways evil dudes can obtain mojo which do not involve the toture of little girls that we wonder (yet again) why this theme is so... attractive, so alluring, so_____------______------REVOLTING!
There, we said it. PEOPLE, stop glamorizing little-girl torture. Do not write of it, do not speak it, do not even think it. If you need to tell us your take on little girl torture, please... please.... no we won't go there... please... go FRESHEN yourself. Yes, clean your minds and hearts and souls and write a story which is not based on... no, we won't stoop that low either. Okay, PB.COM Review Rule One: Don't write shit.
We're done now
Please do not listen to this awful story. How ever good it might have gotten (doubtful but within the realm of possibility), it is absolutely void of redeeming grace.
Honest, no seriously, honest reviews of podcasts on Podiobook.com, plus a few non-PB.com notables. We can save you time avoiding lesser podcasts and target you to the greats.
What's The Blog About, Alfie?
We are avid fans of literature, good literature. We prefer great writing, we'll settle for very good work, but we cannot abide anything less. We will stop reading a book if the author demonstrates mediocrity, writes incompetently, or, worse yet, simply loses our interest. That said, we will always give you our honest opinions about the books we've listened to on Podiobooks.com. We'll tell you why the great ones are great, and why the forgettable ones should be avoided.
We hope, when we've reviewed enough, you will come to this blog to see if a particular book is worthy of your time. We plan to be frank. You have come here to elicit our opinion and we shall not disappoint. Additionally, we hope this blog becomes a resource for PB.com authors to read honest and objective reviews of their efforts; no smoke blown-up the butt at any time. We have observed over time that reviews left on an author's site or iTunes are basically of two types. The first is the pie-eyed-hyperbolic-praise version of a review by a real fan. While excellent for the ego of said author, this form of assessment aids neither the potential listener nor the writer's development. The second type is the snarky-hit-and-run-slap-in-the-face negative review which may contain the kernel of an insight, but is actually significantly less valuable than the first type. Ours will be decidedly neither polar extreme. We will be as fair and complete as possible. An unavoidable off-shoot, indeed a desirable off-shoot, the clever reader will quickly appreciate is that we will undoubtably be squewering a few sacred-cows. If that happens, please keep in mind the fable of The Emporer's New Clothes and the fact that we would not review them in a less-than-stellar manner if they did not deserve it.
Our reviews are not placed on PB.com, iTunes, or any other public site. We do not wish to embarrass or ridicule any particular authors. Many of the authors are our friends, or at least were up till they read our review. We dearly appreciate that each PB.com author has poured their creative guts out for all to see with very little chance of monetary reward. This is not easy. We will not generally say anything but positives on public sites as we, in our alter ego, want the authors, even the poor ones, to have their moment in the bright-shiny sun. At the very least we want them to be happy little fish in their little ponds.
Finally a term defined, a dreaded term, one you wish never to see, one which strikes despair in the heart of any author - WSRH. This is short for "We Stopped Reading Here". Background. Our less than sainted father was a college English professor. When grading essays and term papers, especially freshman courses, we observed him many a cruel time to slash across the page with his red pen. Just below the horrific line, he would write, "I stopped reading here... F." Clearly, papa was a professor, not an editor, so he was an I while we are, well, a we. Hence, ISRH transforms into WSRH. However you begin it, it is not a good thing. Avoid writing something which earns WSRH, you will not be happy with yourself.
Your comments on our comments are most welcome. You may be as frank as we are. Contrary opinions, supported by rational argument not finger-wagging, will help the prospective PB.com readers find the books which are right for them. Bottom line: our comments plus your comments, along with author rebuttals, will in the end benefit us all, and help PB.com listeners choose wisely.
Based on the success of this blog, we have started a Forum where you can share your insights and reviews. The more information and discussion, the better informed we will all be.
We hope, when we've reviewed enough, you will come to this blog to see if a particular book is worthy of your time. We plan to be frank. You have come here to elicit our opinion and we shall not disappoint. Additionally, we hope this blog becomes a resource for PB.com authors to read honest and objective reviews of their efforts; no smoke blown-up the butt at any time. We have observed over time that reviews left on an author's site or iTunes are basically of two types. The first is the pie-eyed-hyperbolic-praise version of a review by a real fan. While excellent for the ego of said author, this form of assessment aids neither the potential listener nor the writer's development. The second type is the snarky-hit-and-run-slap-in-the-face negative review which may contain the kernel of an insight, but is actually significantly less valuable than the first type. Ours will be decidedly neither polar extreme. We will be as fair and complete as possible. An unavoidable off-shoot, indeed a desirable off-shoot, the clever reader will quickly appreciate is that we will undoubtably be squewering a few sacred-cows. If that happens, please keep in mind the fable of The Emporer's New Clothes and the fact that we would not review them in a less-than-stellar manner if they did not deserve it.
Our reviews are not placed on PB.com, iTunes, or any other public site. We do not wish to embarrass or ridicule any particular authors. Many of the authors are our friends, or at least were up till they read our review. We dearly appreciate that each PB.com author has poured their creative guts out for all to see with very little chance of monetary reward. This is not easy. We will not generally say anything but positives on public sites as we, in our alter ego, want the authors, even the poor ones, to have their moment in the bright-shiny sun. At the very least we want them to be happy little fish in their little ponds.
Finally a term defined, a dreaded term, one you wish never to see, one which strikes despair in the heart of any author - WSRH. This is short for "We Stopped Reading Here". Background. Our less than sainted father was a college English professor. When grading essays and term papers, especially freshman courses, we observed him many a cruel time to slash across the page with his red pen. Just below the horrific line, he would write, "I stopped reading here... F." Clearly, papa was a professor, not an editor, so he was an I while we are, well, a we. Hence, ISRH transforms into WSRH. However you begin it, it is not a good thing. Avoid writing something which earns WSRH, you will not be happy with yourself.
Your comments on our comments are most welcome. You may be as frank as we are. Contrary opinions, supported by rational argument not finger-wagging, will help the prospective PB.com readers find the books which are right for them. Bottom line: our comments plus your comments, along with author rebuttals, will in the end benefit us all, and help PB.com listeners choose wisely.
Based on the success of this blog, we have started a Forum where you can share your insights and reviews. The more information and discussion, the better informed we will all be.
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