Tincture - Laced With Goodness!

Okay, my minions, we are proud to do a review.  What pleases us most, and the reason we must make such a show of it, is that there have been so few PB.com entrants of sufficient worth to warrant a mention.  But now we may share our profundity regards a winner!  Tincture, An Apocalyptic Proposition (TAAP) by Matthew M. Jordan, like so many successful salmon before it, beat it's little fins hard enough to reach The Promised Land - a review by us!  This is fantasy, not exactly post-apocalyptic, a genre we tired of many a moon past, and is really dark fiction, maybe weird fiction.  Whatever label is appied, TAAP is a commendable effort.

Here's his tag:

Rhamuel and the last of his family, Abranyah, travel their barren world, shack to shack, selling tinctures to keep a full belly and evading the dogmatists to keep their throats safe. Time has turned funny after The Whatever, an apocalyptic event that few remember and even fewer can explain, danger now as commonplace as the unrecognizable relics of war, and the madman Aphulan—along with an iron rule over his small township—may hold the answers. With a cure for The Sick and a passion to uncover what happened to their world, Rhamuel and Abranyah set off on a journey to the “other place,” the days before The Whatever, and ready themselves for a glimpse into what happened, and what was always meant to happen next.

NARRATION:   Very nice indeed.  We are unfamiliar with the voice, and no specific attribution was made as to whom it was.  We presume it was Mr. Jordan (hint hint, Mr. J - add attributions!).  As a solo read, there was sufficient articulation of voices between characters to distinguish amongs them.  Also, the anonymous narrator (oh how we admire anonymity) gave a spark, an energy to each main character which fit the personalities well.  There was a confidence in the narration which is surprising to find in a novice.  Very laudable.  We Would give 19 points for this category, about as high as a solo read may garner. 

EDITING/TECHNICAL:  There was one missed over-dub in a later episode, but just the one.  There were a few too-long-a-pauses, but, again, not enough to detract from the overall pace of the story.  Music outros could be a bit long.  Not that the music wasn't pleasing and well matched, it occasionally just ran a bit amok.  Sparse sound effects were bland and probably should have been deleted, but they  were not bad, just... melba toast.  We dole-out 15 points in this grouping.

ORIGINALITY OF STORY:  Back very much on track here, this is a unique tale.  We are unfamiliar with a similar yarn.  As original could be a bad thing, we must definitely state the originality was refreshing.  Several story-twists and elements caught us, scared veterans as we are,  completely by surprise.   This speaks well for the imagination of the author.  A wild and vivid imagination is such a gift, both from the Muse to the author and the author to us readers.  Thank you, kind sir!  An unreserved 20 points here.

QUALITY OF WRITING:  Ah, Mr. Jordan, if you're reading this, you may wish, at this juncture, to take a prescription tranquilizer, if available.  Wait twenty to thirty minutes, then read on.  The rest of you may proceed directly ahead - sedatives optional.  TAAP is more a story told more than a novel written.  This is not a bad thing, but it is not a good thing in and of itself.  Our ancestors sat around many a campfire at night listening to a bard tale tale like Beowulf and the like.  Good stuff!  Writing serious fiction is another art form and it is the one we pine-over.  That said, this is an expansive story with palpable characters who develop intriguing personalities.  Well done, good sir!  But technical flaws do hamper the effort.  There is an on going convolution to the story, scene out of time, if you will.  Think, for illustrative example, of Slaughter House Five.  Done well, this devise is wondrous.  In TAAP, we think the tool may have been over-employed, leading to a bit of jarring and miscomprehension.  The vagueries surrounding the beginning were almost enough to earn TAAP a WSRH.  But - for you dear reader - we persevered and found ourselves caught-up willingly in TAAP. 
Another Serious flaw was the dreaded Anticlimax.  The story came to a truly endless series of saw-toothed ending points, only to launch-forth into another riveting, poignant interlude.  We flash on the image of a fish dying slowly on the floor of a boat.  Will it ever stop flopping?  A final critique.  Mr. Jordan, please vary the word skull for the abused word brain-pan and pepper-in time as it is significantly less liberally.  That is all we'll say.  Zip.  We ladle-forth 10 points here. 

WOW FACTOR: There is clearly some in TAAP.  The prowess of the solo-narration is impressive.  The unbridled imagination of the setting the story is told in is most commendable.  We will always reward an author who spawns a new world and them leads us though it with loving care.  Just say no to zombies and vampires shall always be our motto, or battle cry.  TAAP stays light-years away from the cliche.  Finally, the music, which was a bit long at times, was spell-binding, well-matched, and a pleasure to hear.  You should be proud of yourself, Mr. Jordan!  14 wow-points.

EXTRA CREDIT:  They say in baseball, that if you watch long enough you'll see something you never have before.  And so it is here, a first in the annals of our saged reviews, a negative extra credit.  TAAP is the first to earn a subtraction.  We strike 3 points off the podcasts total for the blatant and unapologetic plagiarism of Fire Fly/Serenity.  We are huge fans of this body of scifi goodness.  But the dialogue in TAAR is clearly a photocopy of the jerky-western drawl of Malcolm Reynold and the rest of the Brown Coats.  It was a brilliant tool for Fire Fly, but when so overtly recycled, it shows a clear lack of originality.  As our close and personal friend Doctor Who has said, "Originality is cool!"

TOTAL:  75.  Well done, TAAP!


Their website is:  http://tincturestory.com/

The Guild of The Cowry Catchers - A Catch And Release

  With this review, of Abigail Hilton's The Guild of The Cowry Catchers 1-4 (TGOTCC), we will be uncharacteristic.  This is a major podcast of PB.com, so TGOTCC cannot be ignored.  So, a review we feel obliged to publish.  We were torn as to whether to post upon this work, but decided one must not pick-and-choose for reasons of conflict - and we are conflicted.  There weight two very heavy counter-balances which prompt us to be reserved.  Ms. Hilton pours her very life and soul into this epic podcast, a well as a tremendous amount of her time.  Her production is nothing short of brilliant.  The world Ms. Hilton creates is fresh and her writing skills are top-notch.  She gives us all outstanding cast, editing, and sound effects.  Few podcasts are technically superior.  These factors combined constitute one monument force on the scale we judge TGOTCC with.  The other massive counter-weight is that, in spite of these attributes, is that TGOTCC earned a WSRH.

  How is it possible for such a superb podcast to be shot-down with an ignoble WSRH?  As we stress time and again, it's all about the story.  A permutation of this credo is that it's all about what the author wishes to tell us, wishes to say to us.  Ms. Hilton chooses to, for reasons she is very much entitled to express, hammer the listener over the head with repeated gay-sex scenes.  One was one too many, but maybe it was needed, but several?  Hardly likely.  In all seriousness, we will announce our steadfast support of the quote often mis-attributed to Voltaire, "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it." After volumes of brilliant story-telling, Ms. Hilton feels it incumbent upon herself to push into the listener's ears, in brilliant stereo, graphic sex scenes between two male characters.  So be it.  This literary device is clearly extremely important to Ms. Hilton and she is free to express it.  We applaud her honesty with us in exposing to us her passionate desire to do so.  Why on earth she feels such a need is well beyond the scope of our speculation, but - as the common-herd is so fond of saying - it is what it is.

  We, Anonymous, are, well - duh - anonymous.  We are a reviewer of art.  That said, we feel that graphic sex is a wonderful thing if conducted between two (or, to be inclusive, one or three or twenty-five) consenting adults in private.  Sex should always be so confined.  We do not care if it is sex between males, females, or any desired combination of the two.  We do not care if one is referring to graphic sex between fictional character which are human, or alien, or six-dimensional.  Are we a prude?  We think not, but the reader may differently.  We simply feel that graphic sex in books, photos, and film, is a cheap-shot, an facile ploy for an author.  We wish there was one hell of a lot more 'fades to black' in art.  We get it, the man sitting on the bed tightening his tie and the woman presumably naked under the covers just did 'it', they gained carnal knowledge of each other, they hid the salami, they played slap-and-tickle - whatever!  Why do we need to have the act depicted to use in cheek-blushing detail?  For vicarious sexual arousal?  One word: GROSS!  Once safely past adolescence, vicarious sexual gratification is reserved for those who never matured out of adolescence. Wash, rinse, repeat.  Detailed sexual encounters are gratuitous and those who derive gratification from them are not persons we would care to spend much time in the company of.   Grow up people!

  Well, we must restate that expounding graphic sex is for the vicarious as well as for those who have an agenda.  We are oblivious as to which motivated Ms. Hilton.  Her reasoning is her own and we support her right to soap-box them to the world.  We, however, care not to expose ourselves to such low-brow entertainment.  As a reviewer of PB.com material, we feel honor-bound to pass along our honest review.  We hope it helps prospective listeners chose wisely.  As always, it is never our intention to insult or impugn the artist.  Critique is, in the end, personal opinion.  Here it is offered with deference and with a heart-felt desire to inform.

  So, should you, PB.com listener, select TGOTCC?  It is a great story told brilliantly.  If you can overlook the above mentioned flaws, go for it!  You will be richly rewarded.  If you actually want to hear graphic sex, well stop reading this review and download this bad-boy.  But, for the faint-of-heart, it poses some potentially significant challenges. 

The Deleted Ones -Please Do Delete

  We must first quote The Sage, George Takei.  "Oh myyyyy!"

  The Deleted Ones (TDO), by Martin Kolacek was, unfortunately, yet anther in the terribly long-line of WSRH's we suffered through, however briefly, for you.  You are welcome.  The podcast may - oh we are such a play-on-words slut - be deleted.  We were shocked at first to hear even the narration.  Martin clearly possesses a middling command of the English language, so his attempt to write a book in the same language as The Bard struck us as odd.  Don't get us wrong, Martin is free to do as he chooses - he is hurting no one.  Still, it is odd to create a tale in a language one is not fluent in.  The narration as such was slowly paced and labored, reflecting his unfamiliarity.  This in no way helped the podcast along.  But, in the end, it's always about the story.  Again, oh myyyy!  This was odd, at least the half episode we could stomach.  Amnesia - always a weak writing device - coupled with gay-sex robots and some dysfunctional social set-up.  WSRH.  Oh myyyy, myyyy!  Do yourself a favor, heed our warning, and pass on TDO.

A Breif Word

  And yes, before you think it, we are capable of brevity.  We have posted no recent reviews.  This is due to a superposition of forces.  First, Podiobooks.com was hacked, so they changed their entire set-up.  They were once difficult to search, now they are virtually impossible to search.  Hence, when we go to PB.com, we find it hard to find anything.  Second, the browsing of titles we have do reveal to us - oh for once we'll be kind - sparse offerings.  The recent WSRH essay was the best we gleaned from PB.com, and it was...  well, read the post.  The podcast was rather the opposite of good.  But, we will, from time-to-time, check back in and see if anything interesting turns up.

  If we do not serve you - we are not serving you!